Original post author: Ryan I was going through my old photos recently. I'd like to document this proud moment when my team of mixed-background students won the wood beam competition at Umass. We came from humble beginnings, designing the beam in a disorganized excel spreadsheet and constructing it with crude tools mere days before the load test was scheduled. Needless to say, beam was ugly. Moments after creating it, we felt as though it contained an ancient evil. An old nun caught a glimpse of the beam as we were transporting it to the lab, and she let out a shriek and quickly held out a set of rosary beads and began mumbling a prayer. At the end of the day, it held more weight then the other, prettier beams. And that's what mattered. When it finally broke, it shattered into three pieces, made a horrid crack noise, and, according to Umass legend, several freshman throughout campus suddenly and inexplicably wet themselves. After taking this picture, campus security seized the shattered remains of the beam and buried it deep in beneath Mt Sugarloaf, where it remains under constant surveillance to this day. I'm not sure what the other guys are up to nowadays, but if I were to guess, they are probably making millions of dollars sharing our secrets of satanic glulam construction with the world. I don't blame you guys. But, remember, with great power comes great responsibility.
Comments